To be or not to be you. —  December 3, 2013

To be or not to be you.

My dad’s name is Pascual. I love him. His name? Not so much. When I was younger I used to stand at the door of the church next to him, greeting the people as they exited after the sermon. People would often refer to me as “Pascualito El Pastorcito”. Yes, it had a rhyme to it, but I disliked that little poem. My name is Roger. For as much as I love my dad, admire and honor him, I believe God has called me to be the first Roger, not the second Pascual. Here are my thoughts for those of you that are struggling between trying to be genuine to whom God made you to be and the expectations of others:

1. Avoid the extreme people.

I’m suspicions of two types of people: those that say it can’t be done and those that say it must be done my way. Equally dangerous. Both are made from the same cloth and they lack one main ingredient: Faith in you. They demonstrate an inflated view of themselves which is prideful, which in turn sees other people either as peons that are disposable or inept humans to be ignored. Avoid prolonged exposure to them, they can damage your spirit.

2. People that try to change who you are, will never be satisfied.

Yes, you can repeat that again. Never. Ever. Nunca be satisfied. The insistence of people to make you fit into their mold demonstrated more of a flaw in their character than yours. It amazes me, however, how much we worry about what others think of us. I once had a member that would show up in my house unannounced to see what I was doing. Even though I was putting in 80+ hours of work a week, he seemed to come by on those 30 minutes that I would be taking a nap and comment on the easy life of a pastor. For some reason, I felt guilty about resting. Looking back, I should not have let it get to me, but he did. I got over it in time, but I share it so you know it affects more leaders than they let on.

3. Being yourself is exhausting enough.

Being someone else, is extremely exhausting and frustrating. One day, in the future, you will look back to this time in your life. Will you look back with regrets about what you could have tried, could have done, could have become, but did not because you were trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? People will talk either way. It makes more sense to go with who God made you to be. We don’t need more Pascualito’s. Or Rogersito’s for that matter. Be you. It shows your recognition and appreciation to the God who made you that way.

If you need prayer in this area, let me know:

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